Part One in the Three-Part Series:
A Story of Twin Flame Surrender
Surrender BEGINS with Obsession
One of the questions we’re frequently asked is, “How do I surrender attachment to my twin flame?” That we receive this question so often is unsurprising. Twin flame attachments are rooted in the twins’ shared soul, each copy tied to the other by tendrils of soul essence that vibrate at a shared frequency even when the twins are physically apart. Reunion is a goal every twin flame pair sets upon copying their soul into two bodies.
Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
When twin flames reunite and ignition happens via the soul bond, each twin becomes the focal point of the other’s existence — each other’s main attachment in this world if you will. That attachment’s purpose is to pull the sundered twins into shared orbit so that reunion may happen. Many on the journey struggle to maintain their balance when this attachment is cemented, accompanied by a pull to *BE* with another person that is unlike any desire, wish, or want they’ve experienced before.
The resulting obsession is a feature of many, perhaps most, twin flame journeys. For some, it leads to the so-called bubble love phase. For others, however, it takes on a darker tone. Feelings of self-doubt, lack, and disappointment can overwhelm some twins, especially those in separation in the runner/chaser phase.
So how do twin flames overcome the undeniable obsession, and turn it instead into a clarion call for Union with their twin flame? As we always say, all journeys are unique! There is no one way. Here’s how one of us did it.
Michelle’s Twin Flame Surrender Story
Justin & I experienced the obsession and call to reunite at many points on our journey to Union.
However, after our Twin Flame Talk, for me, the obsession grew into a cacophonous roar that I could not quiet except in meditation or the ecstasy of dance. Not only was the call to unite with my twin flame wrapped up in that noise, but also the call to own my truth and shed the old ego masks that anchored me to a worn-out place on my path.
In June 2018, all of the planets aligned and my intuition whispered that this is it, time to get a move-on. Days before our 20th wedding anniversary, I told my soulmate-husband that I did not love him anymore and that I wanted a divorce. While setting about separation and planning for my kids’ needs, I waited for Justin to fulfill his end of the agreement and come clean with his soulmate-wife. As I waited, my despair grew.
“Why can’t he just DO IT?” I wondered on a daily basis. “I did it. That means by definition that he can!” Sometimes my thoughts were selfish. “I don’t want to be alone, I didn’t blow up my life to be alone!” At other times, I cried, “When is my twin going to step up to own his truth and join me so we can get to work on our soul mission? He’s shirking his responsibility!” I recognize now that these thoughts were rooted in fear and lack. They lurked in the shadow places of my soul.
Despite all of my hard work up to that point spiritually, in therapy, and with energetic healing — I didn’t love myself unconditionally. It was true that I loved myself enough to own my truth, embrace my spiritual nature, and begin righting my wrongs in the world. But, attached to my need for Justin to complete me, I still lived in fear of abandonment and loneliness. Instead of moving boldly forward on my own journey as soon as I dropped the anchor of my old ego masks, I waited for him to match my moves. To catch up. The thought of twin flame surrender never occurred to me. It sounded like giving up! I’d rather wait, I convinced myself.
Moments of Profound Love
As I waited, the summer of 2018 progressed. Unbidden moments of overwhelming love for the world and my new journey began to overtake me. Sometimes, despite my impatience for him to join me, all I felt for Justin was this pure, unearthly love.
My love multiplied in painful compassion for my twin’s position. He stood on the precipice of shattering his longest-standing relationship. That record encompassed the birth family who disowned him in his 20’s when he declared himself an apostate from the family’s religion. In addition, he was processing a rapid spiritual awakening that had begun in April; never an easy experience! I felt all he was going through, more and more as the days passed after I shed my old ego masks.
Justin was truly alone on his path. When he left his wife, there would be no safety net waiting for him except me. We talked often about his plans to tell her. He struggled to unearth the courage required to hurt her with his truth. A caregiver all his life, he was accustomed to pushing off his own needs as secondary to all others. He set dates. He delayed, time and again. His deep abandonment trauma was triggered in contemplating what it would feel like as an empath to witness his soulmate-wife’s inevitable painful reaction.
Through the summer of indecision, Justin reassured me that he loved me, that he wanted to be with me, that it was only a matter of time. Just not quite yet. Every time, my disappointment renewed my despair that my twin refused to embrace his power to choose love.