I was recently asked to answer this question on an online forum: Can a Soulmate try to unite Twin Flames, without even realizing what they are doing? Of course, my answer is YES. I know those soulmate helpers are all around us, and they agreed to do this sort of thing. That got me thinking about Justin’s and my journey, and how one of our most important soulmates inadvertently catalyzed our Union.
Estimated reading time: 8 minutes
Justin and I are forever grateful to this soulmate helper of ours, though our Union caused her — and is still causing her — pain. We know the day is coming, however, when she will realize that this was a role she agreed to play for us. It is written in our soul contract. We affixed our energetic signatures to that contract before we arrived on this timeline. We are talking about Justin’s ex-wife, who is his best friend and soulmate.
Justin’s ex-wife was the one who introduced the term ‘twin flame’ to him. He came to me for clarification because she challenged him to. She thought if I told him that I believed in this concept, he would cut me off and end our affair. But the exact opposite happened — in doing this, she catalyzed our Union. Justin came to me asking, “What is a twin flame?” I told him all that I’d learned of twin flames, and he said one simple thing: “It sure helps to know all of this. It explains an awful lot.” Three months later I told my husband about the affair and that I wanted a divorce. Three months after that, Justin told his wife the same. We have been in Union ever since.
Here’s our story…
An Undeniable Connection
Our journey began with an affair after meeting on Ashley Madison. It was so smooth, and our connection was SO INTENSE. We quickly went from meeting once a month to once a week because we just could not get enough of each other.
One day, about six months into the affair, I got spooked. I wasn’t supposed to feel this way! The connection was too intense. I was in excruciating pain from a car accident and needed to focus on that. My opioid addiction was ramping up, and I was ashamed. I wanted to fix my marriage (to my soulmate helper!), but I was miserable. My kids needed more of me. I had every excuse you can imagine built up in my mind to start running. But I stayed because I couldn’t put down this fascinating connection!
Running & Chasing
Then, Justin & I had a miscommunication, and that was the final straw. I shut down in an instant, blocking him everywhere and ghosting him completely. I ran for five months, even though he was my first thought on waking each day and my final thought on falling asleep every night. During my running phase, I almost died twice — once from organ failure related to opioid addiction and once from suicide. It’s a story for another post, but there are a couple of soulmate helpers who got me through this horrific time.
Two days after my suicide attempt, about which he knew nothing, Justin chased me with one single email. All it said was, “I don’t know why you cut off all contact. I never felt a connection like this before. I miss you, and I think about you every day. Just wanted you to know.”

My soul suffered a massive earthquake; my whole world shattered again, the same as it did during our first kiss a year beforehand. It was like his words, in that order, written with simple emotion, were a key between our souls to unlock the twin flame journey on his side. I’ve often wondered which soulmate helper of his, it must have been a spiritual one, prompted him to send these words. They altered our course forever.
I never ran again after that email. We continued our affair because it was crystal clear that our connection could not be ignored, nor did we want to ignore it.
Spiritual Awakening with Soulmate Helper Guidance
I awakened spiritually about six months after we got back together, in a series of supernatural experiences on the weekend of 11/11/2016. There were a lot of soulmate helpers around me to facilitate this experience, including the one who introduced me to ecstatic dance, and my two kids.
At the time, I didn’t know what a twin flame was. Married to who I thought was my one and only soulmate, there didn’t seem to be an option to have anyone else. The life I’d chosen was the one I was stuck with. My happiness didn’t matter when others’ expectations laid claim to a piece of me. I didn’t have a choice. These are all the things I was telling myself daily.
I had no idea what 11:11 meant or any of this woo-woo stuff. As far as spiritual gifts, I could read Tarot — I picked up a deck when I was 12 and instinctively knew what to do with stupefying accuracy. But I thought it was weird, so I quit reading. I also received visitations from spirits passing over many times throughout my life from childhood on up, but I ignored those soulmate helpers. I truly thought I was crazy.
Then, on that 11/11 weekend, I received the ultimate confirmation that I wasn’t crazy. Details will follow in some other post, but suffice it to say that I shifted spiritually. I started learning and working on myself in every way possible from therapy to acupuncture to massage to yoga to meditation to journaling, and more. So many who facilitated my healing at that time were special soulmate helpers!
My awakening phase went on for about two months. Then, out-of-the-blue, my newly-discovered spirit team (aka, soulmate helpers!) whispered, “Twin flame. he’s your twin flame.” I’d been thinking about my morning with Justin, wondering why our connection was what it was and why I could NOT put it down. That was 1/11/2017. I went straight home and googled ‘twin flame’ and read everything I could put my hands on. I knew from the first moment I’d found my twin flame. I’d been seeking him all my life, since childhood when I talked to him as my ‘imaginary’ childhood friend.
The Accidental Catalyst…his Soulmate
I chose to keep all of the above to myself.
I didn’t want to tell Justin about my awakening. What if he thought I was crazy? I couldn’t mention twin flames to him! Surely, he would be spooked. (I clearly didn’t have a full understanding of the twin flame dynamic at that time! 😂)
My focus shifted to working on myself every day. For over a year, I concentrated on healing and figuring out how I would come clean with the people (mostly my husband-soulmate helper) I’d injured with my lifelong lies. Eventually, after eighteen months, I began planning for my divorce because I finally realized that whether or not I could be with Justin, it was not fair to keep my soulmate tied up in a soul contract or a 3-D marriage contract that was complete.
Justin’s and my connection grew stronger and stronger during all of this. We started discussing odd experiences, like his knowing when I was about to text or our unreasonably strong feelings of devastation if one or the other could not meet. It was like the growth of addiction; the substance we craved became dearer and dearer to us. We became increasingly attuned to each other’s energy, too, knowing what mood we’d find each other in when we were next together and even feeling the echoes of emotions gone through when we were physically distanced. We did everything in our power to see each other two or three times a week. Still, I could feel that it wasn’t my place, or the right time, or what would serve us best, for me to tell him what twin flames were. I kept quiet.
Soulmate Helper to the Rescue
Then, after three years of our affair, Justin’s wife — our unintentional soulmate helper — found out about us and started following me on social. I posted a lot about twin flames. Her suspicions were aroused. She read up on it. She challenged Justin to ask me about it. When he did, it was a clear signal from our spirit team. It was time to talk about this together. In one marathon texting session that lasted eight hours, I shared everything I had learned and gone through in my pursuit of understanding our connection. In his typical straightforward fashion, he said, “It sure helps to know all of this. It explains an awful lot.”
Three months later, I told my husband the truth. Three months after that, Justin told his wife the truth. That was when we came to Union in Fall 2018.
If you want to know more about our journey, read our novella series:
Kindle – Souls on Fire: Memoirs of a Twin Flame True Love Journey
Paperback – Souls on Fire: Memoirs of a Twin Flame True Love Journey
What’s Your Soulmate Helper Story?
How have your soulmate helpers assisted on your path? We’re interested in hearing about both early helpers and spiritual ones. Share your story in the comments below.
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