Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
My twin flame Justin and I are in Union. One of the first things we share with new folks we encounter on our journey is that we met in an extramarital affair. Some are unsurprised and match our admission with their own equally surprising one. Many are shocked. A few are angry and judgmental. But they all have something in common – they all want to hear the answer to the question, why did my twin flame and I cheat?
We share our answer for two reasons. One, because it is our Twin Flame Soul Mission to share our story with the world — including the uncomfortable parts. Two, because this part of our story sheds light on questions that will inevitably arise in readers’ minds after they finish reading Part I of Souls on Fire. So, why did my twin flame and I cheat?
In the beginning, there was pain
Ashley Madison, the online haven for married cheaters, is where we met. We were junkies for numbing our spiritual pain and disappointment, looking for our next ‘fix’ with a new partner. Here’s my picture from the drive to meet Justin at Cascade Station near PDX:
At the time of that photo, I knew nothing of myself. I knew nothing of myself because for decades I’d lived a life built on lies. Every day I pretended to be someone different to get me through to bedtime. Everywhere I turned, there were people who only knew the masks I wore because it’s all I let them see. The real me was buried deep inside, beginning to be forgotten even by me. Can you see the empty mask on my face? I see it. I took this picture two years before I ever looked up the term ‘twin flame’.
Cheating was a painkiller
Inevitably, after Justin and I share that we met in an affair, we’re asked some form of these questions: why did you cheat with your twin flame when you knew it was wrong? And, why did you allow it to continue? We cheated for many reasons:
➜ We cheated to numb our pain. And we both had so much physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual pain.
➜ We cheated to find connections for our thirsting souls. We were lonely, married to soulmates who weren’t slaking our need for each other, which was encoded into our very soul unbeknownst to us at the time. Ultimately, the connection we sought and found was each other.
➜ We cheated to channel our unhappiness and disappointment away from our undeserving spouses. We are empaths, as all twin flames are empaths. Whatever hurt our spouses, hurt us, too, because we lived with them, and loved them. Cheating with each other made us feel whole, which then echoed in our spouses’ emotional landscape. It made cheating feel like ‘the right choice’ to protect them.
➜ We cheated to continue feeling and exploring what it felt like when we are together. Being together is magic unlike anything else on this earthly plane. We both felt it from our first moment of meeting. When we are together physically, whether merely close to each other or in the throes of passion…there is nothing else that compares. It is safe. It is home. It is happiness. It is love.
But, cheating only killed the pain for so long
It took me three years to the day from when the pink blouse picture was taken to admit to my husband, who was not only the father of my children but also the most significant soulmate on my life’s journey, that I did not want to be married any longer because I’d met someone else. Someone my soul commanded me to be with, who was like my twin.
It was exactly three months later that my twin told his wife that he loved me and needed to be with me because of our spiritual journey together. Ironically, she was the one who introduced him to the term ‘twin flame’ six months prior.
The freedom and relief we experienced after initiating these painful discussions with our spouses was like a dam breaking. There was still more pain to go through, but with the floodgates open. Having got a taste of the pain relief from coming clean, we were all-in.
Truth-telling became a painkiller, too
Telling our spouses about our affair and the love we’d found for each other was one of our most painful life experiences so far. It forced us to admit to the lies we’d told, to look at our selfish actions, and face the hurt caused by them. It was only through that trial by fire that we could come out the other side ready to make new choices in full truth, united as one soul on one shared journey, and committed to helping others heal their pain.
Was cheating with my twin flame worth it?
Yes. A thousand times, yes. Justin and I have been living together, in Union, for over two years (since the night Justin told his wife). Our divorces are complete. Justin’s ex-wife is still his best friend. I am cordial with my ex and his next soulmate. We share custody of my kids and all four co-parent successfully.
There is nothing more calming and reassuring than our being together, full in the knowledge of our shared mission and that our journey will carry us together forever into the future, just as it always has forever in the past.
PS – I answer a lot of questions like “Why did my twin flame and I cheat?” via online forums. One such inspired the article you just read. Here’s a link to the original exchange: