Why Did My Twin Flame and I Cheat?

Estimated reading time: 6 minutes

My twin flame Justin and I are in Union. One of the first things we share with new folks we encounter on our journey is that we met in an extramarital affair. Some are unsurprised and match our admission with their own equally surprising one. Many are shocked. A few are angry and judgmental. But they all have something in common – they all want to hear the answer to the question, why did my twin flame and I cheat?

We share our answer for two reasons. One, because it is our Twin Flame Soul Mission to share our story with the world — including the uncomfortable parts. Two, because this part of our story sheds light on questions that will inevitably arise in readers’ minds after they finish reading Part I of Souls on Fire. So, why did my twin flame and I cheat?

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In the beginning, there was pain

Ashley Madison, the online haven for married cheaters, is where we met. We were junkies for numbing our spiritual pain and disappointment, looking for our next ‘fix’ with a new partner. Here’s my picture from the drive to meet Justin at Cascade Station near PDX:

Why did my twin flame and I cheat? 
For me, it began with a need to escape the emptiness I felt inside. That emptiness was reflected in my face at the time, especially in this picture from June 11, 2015, when I was on my way to meet Justin in person the first time.
Why did my twin flame and I cheat?
For me, it began with a need to escape the emptiness I felt inside. That emptiness was reflected in my face at the time, especially in this picture from June 11, 2015, when I was on my way to meet Justin in person the first time.

At the time of that photo, I knew nothing of myself. I knew nothing of myself because for decades I’d lived a life built on lies. Every day I pretended to be someone different to get me through to bedtime. Everywhere I turned, there were people who only knew the masks I wore because it’s all I let them see. The real me was buried deep inside, beginning to be forgotten even by me. Can you see the empty mask on my face? I see it. I took this picture two years before I ever looked up the term ‘twin flame’.

Cheating was a painkiller

Inevitably, after Justin and I share that we met in an affair, we’re asked some form of these questions: why did you cheat with your twin flame when you knew it was wrong? And, why did you allow it to continue? We cheated for many reasons:

We cheated to numb our pain. And we both had so much physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual pain.

We cheated to find connections for our thirsting souls. We were lonely, married to soulmates who weren’t slaking our need for each other, which was encoded into our very soul unbeknownst to us at the time. Ultimately, the connection we sought and found was each other.

We cheated to channel our unhappiness and disappointment away from our undeserving spouses. We are empaths, as all twin flames are empaths. Whatever hurt our spouses, hurt us, too, because we lived with them, and loved them. Cheating with each other made us feel whole, which then echoed in our spouses’ emotional landscape. It made cheating feel like ‘the right choice’ to protect them.

We cheated to continue feeling and exploring what it felt like when we are together. Being together is magic unlike anything else on this earthly plane. We both felt it from our first moment of meeting. When we are together physically, whether merely close to each other or in the throes of passion…there is nothing else that compares. It is safe. It is home. It is happiness. It is love.

But, cheating only killed the pain for so long

It took me three years to the day from when the pink blouse picture was taken to admit to my husband, who was not only the father of my children but also the most significant soulmate on my life’s journey, that I did not want to be married any longer because I’d met someone else. Someone my soul commanded me to be with, who was like my twin.

It was exactly three months later that my twin told his wife that he loved me and needed to be with me because of our spiritual journey together. Ironically, she was the one who introduced him to the term ‘twin flame’ six months prior.

The freedom and relief we experienced after initiating these painful discussions with our spouses was like a dam breaking. There was still more pain to go through, but with the floodgates open. Having got a taste of the pain relief from coming clean, we were all-in.

Truth-telling became a painkiller, too

Telling our spouses about our affair and the love we’d found for each other was one of our most painful life experiences so far. It forced us to admit to the lies we’d told, to look at our selfish actions, and face the hurt caused by them. It was only through that trial by fire that we could come out the other side ready to make new choices in full truth, united as one soul on one shared journey, and committed to helping others heal their pain.

Was cheating with my twin flame worth it?

Yes. A thousand times, yes. Justin and I have been living together, in Union, for over two years (since the night Justin told his wife). Our divorces are complete. Justin’s ex-wife is still his best friend. I am cordial with my ex and his next soulmate. We share custody of my kids and all four co-parent successfully.

Why did my twin flame and I cheat? To find our way to moments like this one, captured at Ecola State Park in October 2020. We're not happy that we caused others pain, but we're happy that we've fulfilled many soul contracts along the way.
Why did my twin flame and I cheat? To find our way to moments like this one, captured at Ecola State Park in October 2020. We’re not happy that we caused others pain, but we’re happy that we’ve fulfilled many soul contracts along the way.

There is nothing more calming and reassuring than our being together, full in the knowledge of our shared mission and that our journey will carry us together forever into the future, just as it always has forever in the past.


PS – I answer a lot of questions like “Why did my twin flame and I cheat?” via online forums. One such inspired the article you just read. Here’s a link to the original exchange:

How many twin flames were married when they met their counterpart? Did any of you decide to end the marriage to sustain the twin flame connection? Did you allow yourself to be together knowing that it was in the 3D realm of ‘cheating’.

Quora forum question

5 Responses

  1. Enjoy your trashy lives
    Liars and cheats …thieves too because you stole time , you took pieces of someones life and made it worthless, like a death within life .
    F*** you .
    You probably know my ex .
    Funny thing is you are both cheaters and one of you will cheat on the other soon as youre bored again .

    1. Mike, thank you so much for visiting our site and taking the time to read & comment. We feel you. We hear what you’re saying. Believe us, we said some of the same things to ourselves and we heard it from MANY outsiders to our relationship a couple years ago.

      We are so far transformed from who we were back then that we can’t even get upset with you for attacking us this way. We only feel love. We recognize your reaction comes from a traumatized place within your soul, that you are hurting and lashing out at others to alleviate your pain. This is a normal reaction to a story like ours.

      You are more than welcome to return to our site and read all our messages. We also have a YouTube Channel with a few videos that might help you understand and reduce your pain and suffering – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW53-55n3EkFkmwNtbsh1XQ

      Sending you love and light and healing hope, always.

      Justin & Michelle
      Twin Flame Warriors

  2. Twin flame bullshit kas killed my marriage, stupid fairy tales have cost the kids a family. He just wanted to f…k my wife and he did when he was done he left her broken, used and filled. She still swears it’s her love of her life as our daughter sufffer. Her orgasms were worth more than our family.

    1. We are sorry to hear that your experience with the twin flame phenomenon has been so difficult. This is not uncommon because the twin flame journey is still a new concept for much of humanity. There’s conflicting and incomplete information out there on the internet from folks who don’t understand any better than you do (yet). It can be a very painful ride for unawakened soulmates! That is, until understanding and acceptance is achieved.

      We’re also sorry to hear about your daughter’s suffering. YET — we know that this journey happens the way it does for very specific reasons; there is something for your soul and your daughter’s soul to learn from your wife’s soul in this instance. And vice versa — no one is exempt from the spiritual evolution process through these tough lessons.

      It may help to know that your wife is answering a deep, undeniable call to be with her perfectly mirrored, matched soul in 3D (on this physical plane of existence). She has healing to do with her twin flame that you should WANT her to accomplish because you love her. You should WANT her happiness and fulfillment…even if it’s no longer available to her in a relationship with you. Blaming and judging someone for being in a twin flame connection and following their heart to its home is pointless and cruel. She chose this journey before she ever arrived in this body, on this earth, in this timeline. You may not like hearing this, but your soul also agreed with everything that’s happening. You, in your 5D/spiritual form, agreed to support and help your wife as she pursues this spiritual path and ascends to a higher understanding of her existence. You signed a soul contract to this end because you love her.

      Thank you for reading our post and thank you for sharing your pain. We are here to help, in any way we can. If you need someone to vent to or even to blame while you process the pain you’re experiencing, we are here for it. We love you. 🙏

  3. Dear Michele and Justin,

    I admire your courage to do this! Especially in the face of the kind of attacks and judgment I just read! Your response to that anger and vehemence was profound, enlightened and full of divine love! I applaud your strength and commitment to others who find themselves in this predicament.
    Your site and the information you share is hugely needed by others who find themselves in such a tumultuous position as being in other relationships when their twin flame comes into their life! Unless a person has experienced that overwhelming magnetism and profound bond they simply cannot fathom how utterly impossible it is to resist! It truly does transcend all typical relationship experiences of this earthly plane. Thank you! Your site has helped me feel a little less baffled, a little less overwhelmed and a little more hopeful that I might someday be able to share with my own twin flame what the two of you have found – a life together with the person that is your heart home, your true north!

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